A consistent question that has followed me for as long as I can remember revolves around my art and me. "What do I want to accomplish with my art? How can my art impact my own life, but also the lives of those around me, and maybe even a broader community one day?" Of course, as a child, my thoughts weren't so precisely laid out, but I always had the general craving to use my art as a tool to leave a mark and seek community.
Over recent years, I've taken extra mental space and made the internal effort to organize my thoughts, my desires, and prioritize the dreams and ambitions that are most important to me. So after 21 long years of indecisive turmoil, let me lay it out for you. What do I want from my art?
I want to use my art as a tool to leave MY mark and seek community.
Art has always presented itself to me as something very human, something that makes me feel free and alive, something universal, like a language that everyone can understand, even if it's only to a certain extent.
Putting myself in environments where my artistic side can thrive is something that I have always looked forward to as a child. Being able to meet and connect with other creatives is something that has always sounded appealing to me. It's fun to make art, it's fun to have friends, and creating with your friends has to be one of the most fulfilling things you can do. Creativity is so endless, and being able to admire art with an open mind and open heart is so so so fun!!
Being able to collaborate and be almost "let inside" of another artist's mind is such a special experience because art can also be very vulnerable. With that being said, opening the door to your own mind with a fellow creative can also be very therapeutic and bond-strengthening.
I'm only at the beginning of my career, but there have been multiple times that I have seen my art bring people to tears right in front of me. Teachers who stopped in their tracks to look at what I was drawing, friends who adored a gift, and strangers who gave me a spontaneous hug. For a long time, I've been really emotionally frozen, very numb, very hollow. But during these moments, I can almost feel the ice start to thaw, and a very tender side of my heart is brought to the front. It's a part of myself that I really want to sink into. I like feeling for other people, I like being able to create things that resonate with people, and I like to let people know that their problems, their weird thoughts, their distant dreams, are acknowledged. I acknowledge them, I see them, there's someone who sees them.
This is what I mean by seeking community.
So now the second half, leaving my mark. What does that even mean, what does MY mark look like? I think at the end of the day my mark would outline the things that are important to me and touch on subjects that are personal to me. I think it's also really important to me that my mark is intertwined with the mark of the people, if that makes sense. What I mean by that is that I think it's important to speak up for others, speak out against injustice, question authority, embrace raw community, and speak your chest about what's wrong or right.
I can make a difference with my art, I can see it. Not just a difference for me, but a real, tangible difference for people who really need it. I've said it once, and I'll say it again.
Do not enjoy my art if you do not enjoy the soul behind it
I don't need anyone's business or company, if at the end of the day, I'm sacrificing a core component of who I am and who I want to grow into.
FUCK ICE, NO ONE IS ILLEGAL ON STOLEN LAND, FREE PALESTINE, FREE CONGO, FREE SUDAN, FREE PUERTO RICO, FREE ALL COUNTRIES SUBJECT TO COLONIAL RULE, BLACK LIVES MATTER, I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE, I LOVE THE DOLLS, I LOVE THE GAYS, THE THEYS, THE QUEERS, I LOVE ABORTION, FUCK THE POLICE, FUCK MAGA, FUCK FAST FASHION, FUCK CONSUMERISM, FUCK FASCISM, FUCK DONALD TRUMP, FUCK ELON MUSK, FUCK BILLIONAIRES, PERIOD!
Now that I have gotten that out, I hope it really outlines one of my leading motivators. There are so many people out there hungry, beaten, dying. Maybe I don't know them and I'm not connected to them in any capacity, but I don't need to and I don't need to be. We have one thing in common for sure, we're human beings and it's really important for me to stay in contact with what makes me a human being. Which goes back to advocating for people, speaking up against what's wrong, the world is so messed up and cruel, and I'm speaking from a point of extreme privilege. It's a privilege to read about what's going on, to see pictures of what's going on, instead of actually going through what's going on. So when I look on my phone and watch the videos, read the articles, etc, it drives me to do my best and try to make a difference, even if it's small.
Being raw and real about my own human experience is something that is also very fulfilling to me. The things I think about, the things I have been through, the path I have walked, the dreams I carry, the ideas I believe in. That sort of thing. It's hard for me to open up and be vulnerable with people now that I am an adult, it just makes me feel like such a burden, truly. But art creates a space for me to unapologetically pour everything that I'm holding onto into a poem, a drawing, a design. Or even just distract myself by doing something productive and fulfilling. You can really get to know me through my art, and honestly that's probably the best shot you've got.
Ultimately, it goes back to the baby Jayne in me. I should have never let myself overthink things because after years of trying to figure out who I am and what I want, it's clear that what I want now is the same as what I wanted back then. I want to use my art as a tool to leave MY mark and seek community.
